Primrose Road

More biblical wackiness acquired from this week's G-dcast: after the seventh or eighth plague, the Pharaoh does agree to let the Jews -- men, women, and children -- leave Egypt and live free (free to worship God, at least). Everyone is allowed to leave.



Parshat Bo from G-dcast.com


However .......

The Pharoah will not allow the COWS to go. Moses demands that the Pharaoh -- who has already agreed to free the men, women, and children -- allow the Jews to take their own cows as well as some Egyptian cows. When Pharaoh says no ... more plagues.

(Moo.)

The New York Times presents a semi-positive look on self-publishing today. (Hat-tip to TC for forwarding this.) Unfortunately, their talk of "elitism" and "traditional publishers" who seek only big-name authors seems to only add fuel to the fire, convincing naive author-hopefuls that the repeated rejections they've received from agents and small presses are entirely the result of Big Bad Publishing's refusal to pay attention to the talent of new writers.

Most vanity presses do not do the marketing or even create the return policies necessary to get your book on bookstore shelves; the writer is responsible for ensuring that potential audiences find out about the book so that they can place online orders; they edit (sometimes) for grammar and spelling but not for continuity as professional fiction editors do; and, they provide no Cataloging-in-Publication data that would allow libraries to purchase the book. Yet, in using the language of "get your voice heard" and "publish yourself" and worse, "follow your dreams," many vanity presses convince authors that their unedited, overpriced, unprofessionally marketed books will reach a wide audience.

Some commenters seem excited about the way that print-on-demand presses are changing copyright and intellectual property. While POD is a technology that can certainly effect such changes, POD presses like PublishAmerica, AuthorHouse, and a host of others employ language that suggests a leftward shift in intellectual property and publishing in order to make their product (authorship, not the books themselves), which is in actuality all about individuals following their personal goals in the belief that they will make money, seem legitimate to general audiences. The Times seems to have fallen for this attempt at legitimization.

SigOther: When we have a kid, we should name it so its initials spell "God." Something like George Edward D----.

PrimroseRoad: That spells G.E.D.

SigOther: Right. G-E-D.

(Beat. Sound of wheels turning.)

SigOther: Oh no! "God" is spelled G-O-D!


Needless to say, "praise Ged!" is now a catchphrase around here.

While researching dissection for a paper on Early Modern anxieties about not being able to encounter *everything* via sensory functions, I came across an interesting claim: Jonathan Sawday, author of one of the most influential texts on the topic of Early Modern dissection, notes that the idea that the human body is "designed" is very much specific to the late twentieth century.

Indeed, the historical specificity of biological "design" seems to run counter to some claims that the concept is as old as Abrahamic religion.

Conspiracy theories about the US Airways flight that landed in the Hudson River are already springing up.

Meanwhile, the New York Post and FOX News continue to advocate destroying the Evil Geese of Doom.

Since I'll be teaching a Comp I class this semester and will be using my kinda-crackpot-but-it-works writing about common scams course, I was very excited to receive a message from the Long Ridge Writers Group in the mail today.

Do I think it's a scam? Not necessarily, because it is technically on the right side of legal in terms of operating as a business and receiving state approval as an education program, and message board posters at Absolute Write suggest it's a not-too-bad program which simply comes on way too strong marketing-wise.

Does it seem to take advantage of (and money from) hopeful writerlings? Here's my "close reading" of the material I received:

- First, it comes on a bit strong, with the words "Write for Publication!" printed in bold on a yellow envelope, and it offers a "FREE [their caps] Qualifying Test."

- The enclosed letter from a former student (who has indeed had twelve books legitimately published) tells us that she "first dreamed of becoming a writer when my third-grade teacher encouraged my early attempts," which to me definitely seems to be an appeal to the average man or woman who dreams of being a writer, i.e. who thinks that writing for publication entails living some sort of fabulous dream.

- The reply card reads: "I understand that my request, and your evaluation of my writing, places me under no obligation whatever, and no salesperson will visit me." Notice that this conveniently leaves out the possibility of a salesperson calling me.

- In order to receive the FREE test, I have to peel off a red sticker that says "FREE" and affix it to a postcard, to which I must then affix a stamp.

All in all, this doesn't seem to be as far over to the "scam" side of the spectrum as some of the writing and publishing programs I've previously written about, but I'm nevertheless going to send away for their test and find out if someone who writes in typical "freshman comp" style (the style I used to test out ETS' grading software) will be offered admission to their program.

If they actually reject people who shouldn't spend $900 on a "writing for publication" program because there's no way they'll ever be published except maybe through PublishAmerica, then they're okay in my book.

My mother is throwing us an engagement party in April, which we believe is just a ploy to get us to set up a wedding registry even though the wedding is not until June of next year. So, this Sunday, we will be driving out to Long Island and venturing into registry territory.

While Bed, Bath, & Beyond seems to offer a helpful list of recommended items on their webpage, Crate and Barrel's seems to go *justalittle* overboard. Their list includes:

- a muffin pan AND a mini-muffin pan
- a regular wok AND an electric wok
- bathroom weight scale (raise your hand if you'd buy someone a scale as an engagement/shower/wedding gift)
- sectional sofa
- bedside carafe

This should be fascinating.

While I don't agree with everything it says, this piece on the ethics (moral, religious, and otherwise) of conflating Judaism with unquestioned support of every action Israel takes is worth a read.

Israelis question, debate, and even satirize their government's and military's decisions; why can't an American Jewish man or woman do the same without being labeled "self-hating"? It would be blatantly ridiculous to expect an American to unquestioningly accept all the United States' government's and military's decision, so ...

I've expressed concerns before about an apparent waning of our rich intellectual tradition and why we need to be able to ask questions and discuss them openly.

The author of the Conversations with God series, who not only claims to have conversed with God and encourages others to do the same but also hawks retreats and "life skills" courses via his website, has been accused of plagiarism. Apparently, the Christmas essay that he posted on BeliefNet was lifted from a story published in "Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul" over eight years ago.

What I find especially amusing is that author Neale Donald Walsch tried to defend himself with exactly the same excuse that I've heard from a handful of not-so-critical-thinkers in my courses: he claims to have mistakenly believed that the tale of a child's Christmas pageant was his own because he was so familiar with it. This would have been a fine excuse if Walsch hadn't copied the story word-for-word:

Except for a different first paragraph in which Mr. Walsch wrote that he could “vividly remember” the incident, his Dec. 28 Beliefnet post followed, virtually verbatim, Ms. Chand’s previously published writing, even down to prosaic details like “The morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down.”

As I tell my students: if you copy someone else's text word-for-word, there is absolutely no excuse short of demonstrable psychic ability that I'll buy.

Apologies for the lack of updates. I've been writing an essay that will become Chapter 4 of my dissertation and trying to complete it in time to submit it to a journal before I go on the job market, working on fellowship applications and my teaching portfolio, and setting up syllabi for next semester (which starts on the 20th).

I am, as a friend likes to malaprop, running around like a head without a chicken.