Primrose Road

I've been tagged by squib, which means that I'm required by international law to do this meme.

She's given me the letter "P."

Potato: As a dramatic writing major in college, I wrote a play called "Nine of Cups" that took place in a motel on the Jersey Shore. When it was staged as part of a festival called You Hate Me, only one line consistently got laughs --

RACHEL: I could get married again someday.
MARK: And I could be a potato.

I also have a Mii on my friends' Wii named Kartoshke, which is Yiddish for "potato." And this demented potato cartoon is irresistable, don'tcha think?

Pink Hippo Butt:


Pericles: Shakespeare's only play starting with a "P." Definitely Shx's creepiest work ... not Macbeth-creepy or Richard III-creepy, but 'Tis Pity She's a Whore-creepy.

PhD Mobile: My former car, so named because when I went to Nebraska and had the plates changed, the first three letters of my license plate were "PHD." My officemate had the same letters on her plate. Nebraska is obviously the Unintentional Vanity Plate State.

Polish: The language in which part of a chapter of Blueberry Bridesmaids, the book I vanity-published when I was an entirely different person, was written. Especially disconcerting is the fact that I don't recall ever knowing Polish.

Purim: A Jewish holiday that celebrates the reading of the Book of Esther. In Reform synagogues like the one I went to as a kid, everybody dresses up in costume, eats hamentashen, and whirls noisemakers whenever the name "Haman" is mentioned in the reading. In Conservative synagogues like the one SigOther attends, Purim is totally Carnivalesque: the sanctuary has a dance floor, funny images are projected onto a screen during the reading, and prayers are chanted to incorrect melodies. Last year, the rabbi chanted Kaddish to the melody of "Thunder Road" and we all realized how suspiciously similar the two melodies are.

Posthumanism: The topic about which I should be writing an essay right now. Instead, I am writing a list of things that start with P.

I'm not tagging anyone because I don't have regular readers, so if you want a letter, please comment and I'll give you one.

I've been tagged by squib, whose blog I first encountered when I was searching for evidence that Shakespeare is an alien.

What Was I Doing Ten Years Ago?
- Taking the American History Regents (high school-level exam) four weeks after the American History AP (Advanced Placement, for college credit) and being told that if we failed the Regents after passing the AP we'd pretty much make fools of ourselves.
- It was a really good day to ask me this question, because I clearly remember that we were celebrating my friend N.'s birthday by eating rum balls and standing in a circle in the middle of the street outside her parents' house late at night, freaking out the drivers who went by.
- And, of course, I was getting ready to start a Creative Writing bachelors' at NYU. Oy vey.

Five Snacks I Enjoy in a Perfect, Non-Weight-Gaining World
- chocolate ice cream
- cheesecake (esp. my own No Redeeming Value Pie)
- funnel cake
- pecan pie from Witches' Brew, where I haven't been in eleventy billion years
- mascarpone brownies

Five Snacks I Enjoy in the Real World
- chocolate Italian Ice
- Special K chocolate cereal
- cheesecake (who can give up cheesecake?)
- mascarpone brownies (cheese is important)
- pretzels

Five Things I Would Do if I were a Billionaire
- buy my dad the New York Mets
- donate millions to causes that support women's rights to their own bodies all over the world
- start a college fund for my not-yet-existent children and create a fund to allow economically disadvantaged students whose futures would benefit from higher education to college.
- buy an apartment in Manhattan, a house in Lincoln Nebraska, and a jet so I can 'commute' to class
- have Shakespeare brought back to life so we can settle some important questions ;)

Five Jobs That I Have Had
- Receptionist at NYU Law School (a job that ended when I came to work one day after a week's vacation and found that the building I worked in had been demolished)
- Starbucks' barista
- International Student Advisor
- Academic manager for a test-prep company (a job for which I had two cellphones and a PDA)
- University T.A./adjunct

Three of my Habits
- Twirling my hair
- Three cigarettes a week (prior to returning to NY; now I'm at one a month ;))
- Gambling: having been raised in a family who travels regularly to Atlantic City, I've managed to get myself comped at two casinos and I have memberships at five. I actually only play around $50 every three months, but am concerned that I am fast becoming known as the grad student who regularly gambles away her entire 'pocket change' paycheck.

Five Places I Have Lived
- Whitestone, Queens, New York
- East Greenwich Village, Manhattan, New York
- 24th Street, Lincoln, Nebraska
- 23rd Street, Lincoln, Nebraska (moving across the street is always an adventure)
- Bayside, Queens, New York

5 People I am Tagging with this Meme
I'm not sure that I know 5 bloggers who haven't been tagged yet with this meme. So here's the deal: if you're reading this, BOO! you've been tagged, and must post your answers on your blog under penalty of failing Freshman Comp. (I don't care if you've taken and passed Comp years ago; I can still arrange to have you retroactively failed.)